Hypothetically speaking, adult online dating should make your love life a breeze. It’s like shopping online for your next romantic interest – and you don’t even have to pay for shipping.
That’s the idea, anyway; the reality is a lot different, as anyone with experience can tell you. What if you don’t have the experience, though? Well, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s say you’re on an adult dating site such as Flingster. You’ll mainly be meeting people through video chats, and you get to decide who you talk with and who you skip over.
Since the site caters to people who generally like things to move quickly, you should be prepared to see more sexy lingerie than tastefully revealing V-necks.
Here’s the question: is this the kind of site you want to be on? If you’re interested in doing more flirting than relationship-building, you’re definitely in the right spot.
However, if you’re looking for a site that’ll help you build a long-term relationship, you probably won’t enjoy the experience very much.
That’s just one example of how you can boost your chances: you simply have to pick the right dating platform! Here are a few more examples:
Make The Right First Impression
If you’re on an adult dating site that lets you explore user profiles, you’ll want your pictures to make you look amazing (while also being accurate, of course). If you’re meeting people through webcam chats, wear something for the occasion – or nothing, as the situation requires.
Now let’s move on to the rest of your profile. Is your love of cats your main personality trait? Find a way to tell people about it without making yourself sound like a crazy cat lady.
Go for vulnerability and sincerity, and your profile will stand out from most of the others. Remember, there’s no need to brag.
Yes, you’re trying to impress people, but they aren’t going to date you for your accomplishments alone; you don’t have to talk yourself up like you’re applying for a job.
In fact, giving too many details about yourself could easily come off as needy or desperate, which is not a good look.
What if you’re meeting all your prospective dates via webcam, though? In that case, think of your environment as the rest of your profile.
In one case, you’re using words to tell people about yourself; in the other, you’re using the décor, lighting, and general surroundings to set the mood.
Whatever you do, keep in mind that confidence is sexy.
Now It’s Time to Make a Good Second Impression
If someone is on an adult dating site, it’s pretty much a given that they aren’t there to geek out over a shared affinity for Star Wars.
That being said, think about how you can make yourself stand out from the crowd.
Unless you think you can top everyone else’s seduction techniques, you might want to consider showing some interest in what the other person has to offer – besides sexual pleasure, of course.
Guys, keep in mind that a beautiful woman probably gets compliments on her appearance all day long.
If you immediately comment on something that makes her attractive to you, she’ll put you in the same category as every other guy.
Ladies, you don’t necessarily have to be overly flirtatious in order to get the man you want; that’s a red flag, and you don’t want to look like a trainwreck or a romance scammer right off the bat.
Whether you’re sending a text chat or striking up a conversation over webcam, try to treat the person you’re talking to like an individual, rather than the most recent encounter in a long line of virtual dates.
Don’t Scare People Off
Speaking of red flags, how do you think someone would react if you started making concrete plans for the future within the first 10 sentences of your conversation? Let’s just say that if they react positively, they’re far too gullible to be on an adult dating site.
It’s possible for one person to feel a connection when the other person isn’t quite there yet. That being the case, it’s best not to make assumptions about what they want from an online date.
If you aren’t sure, just ask! But at the same time, always give them room for whatever answer they might give.
For instance, it would be a big mistake to say something like “I loved chatting with you, we should definitely keep this going”. You’ve expressed your interest, but it also feels like you’re pressuring them to say yes.
And if you’re already coming off as a little pushy, that probably won’t result in a favorable answer. Instead, try something like “this was great! I’d totally be open to another chat if you were interested”.
You’re still telling them that you want to keep things going, but you’re also acknowledging that they might not feel the same way.
Dating sites of any description will have fake profiles, troll accounts, or people who are trying to catfish other users – it’s just a fact of life.
Regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, you should count on having interactions that you just don’t appreciate.
Women tend to get a lot of messages from men who are basically just interested in sex, and nothing else. Most of these guys just lack social skills and don’t understand that they’re being totally off-putting, but they’re still just shooting themselves in the foot.
Men often get messages from improbably beautiful women – who happen to have only one profile picture, no personal info, and mention sex in both their profile and in their initial messages.
This is an obvious attempt at a scam to anyone who’s run into it before, but there are plenty of rookies who might think that this online dating thing is finally working out for them.
Learn which people to ignore, and which ones to invest some effort into. And most importantly, don’t forget to have fun!