In this post, we have compiled the best funny wedding wishes video, funny wedding wishes poems, funny wedding wishes for sister, cute wedding wishes, wedding wishes for a friend, funny wedding quotes, funny wedding wishes for best friend in hindi, funny wedding card, etc
Funny Wedding Wishes
I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.
No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.
Marriage is like walking in the park of senseless animals and consider yourself Jurassic king if you have a bit sense. Anyways happy Married Life.
Two become One: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
You fantasize about lovely and beautiful things for your marriage, soon you will dream about living alone surrounded with motionless hands of time. Just kidding. Enjoy your wedding.
Congratulations on finding the one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!
Congratulations on your marriage! Remember: learning to say “Yes Dear” leads to a happy marriage
Congratulations on convincing them to settle down! Happy wedding day!
Congratulations on signing your life away together!
Your future kids will grow up and move out, but the spouse is forever. Congrats!
Marriage is a two-way street, so remember to avoid collisions. Congratulations on your nuptials!
Congratulations! Remember that a man is incomplete without a woman, but when his wedding is over, he is finished.
In marriage, love and laughter comes before blaming and shouting. Be prepared.
Marriage is a prison. Welcome to its seclusion. Congratulations anyway.
Leaving freely and happily without any life commitment is the first sacrifice made by anyone getting ready to marry. Warm up for the greater is yet to come. Best Wishes.
Ensure that you grab classy wedding ring so that you can recreate it in due time. Congratulations!
Marriage begets a child, be sure to get pregnant before marriage. Best wishes.
Love is the sun that initiates emergence of the flower of marriage; soon the lovebirds will draw swords of never-ending war. Love anyway. Best Wishes.
You loved yourselves and are so happy to be together; soon you will realize that all you do is annoy each other. Congratulations.
You fantasize about lovely and beautiful things for your marriage, soon you will dream about living alone surrounded with motionless hands of time. Just kidding. Enjoy your wedding.
It’s so wonderful seeing you awash with sweet smiles as you sign your marriage contract, soon you will wear same smiles as you sign your annulment papers. Congratulations anyway.
Getting married is like killing yourself. Why the lavish wedding when you can simply hang yourself. Happy Wedding!
Wait! Do you really want to sign that marriage contract knowing that it has no expiration period? Enjoy your wedding.
At first, sweet moments, kisses and hugs fill the air; soon the sweet nothings and lovely whispers give room for arguments which disappear for quarrel and total war. Congratulations!
He promises you heaven and earth before your wedding; afterwards, he can’t even afford to give up his salary for you. Congratulations anyway.
Happy married life. I hope he treats you and stays by you the way he does when he was your boyfriend. Good luck.
Keep rocking! I hope your love and desire for one another will be strong as when you are dating. Good luck.
Bride, your husband’s bank account is now in your palm; groom, be prepared. Happy married life.
I told you never to get married, but you will never listen. Congratulations!
Are you ready for him? Though he promises to lay down his life for you but after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. Good Luck.
Marriage is so beautiful that you have finally found that one person you want to annoy all through your life.
The fundamental of marriage is mutual understanding; soon this is what you will lack. Happy married life.
Marriage is medicine to a blind love. May you find real antidote in your marriage Congratulations!
If you need to transfer your fund faster than electronic banking, get married. Congratulations!
Thank God you are finally married; give her everything or she will take all herself. Congratulations!
Congratulations for the happiness you have been enjoying because after today you will have none.
Your must be a dupe for getting betrothed to him; he must be madly in love not to recognize it.
Now that you are married, it matters no more how many jobs you change, you simply will never change your only and one boss.
As you get married to him, remember that you are exchanging the attention of many men for his inattention.
Congratulations for your marriage, after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
All your children but one will grow up and move away—your husband.
Prepare for “madly in love” to just become “mad”. Happy wedding day!
Congratulations and a piece of advice: don’t build furniture together if you want this to last!
Today is a wonderful day to eat, drink, and be married! Congrats!
Welcome to the dangerous, crazy, wonderful world of “marriage”!
You are actually shown some respect when priests asks you to say ‘I do’. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. Happy Married Life Ahead!
In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new circus master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck for your tight rope act.
Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. Wishing you the very best of everything anyway.
It’s like paying EMIs of your under construction house. But here you keep paying EMIs for your entire life and never even get to say a word. Wishing you a happy married life!
You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always. Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead. Congratulations!
Your laughter will be dead, Your rejoicing will be nullified. There’s going to be just one voice at home now, And that is of your wife’s. Happy married life!
Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software in your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next.
This is the time of your life. You are going to lock down to one woman. Is marriage really marriage? Or is it a way to lock a man? You let me know if anything we will break you out!
The promise “for better or worse” means you better be ready for a whole lot of “worse”! Laugh at the little things that go wrong and don’t stress too hard over the big things bound to go wrong. Marriage is a team (so figure out who is gonna be the boss!) Congratulations!
If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married! Welcome to a lifetime of remembering it’s not worth the fight even if you’re “always right”. Congratulations on your union and may you never go to bed angry!
Congratulations to the both of you! A piece of advice for you both on your wedding day: if you keep trying and failing to succeed, try doing it like your spouse told you! Time to really put that teamwork to the test… for the rest of your lives together!
Marriage means pretending you don’t see the crusty eye boogers in your partner’s eyes when they wake up and ignore when they pick their nose thinking you aren’t watching! Congratulations and best wishes on continuing to ignore the little things!
When it comes time to buy your first house together, I strongly reccomend looking into his and hers bathrooms. It will help preserve your sanity and keep your marriage strong! Congratulations on your special day, may you always be able to put up with each other and still love the other person at the end of the day!
Funny Wedding Card Messages
Marriage – the lone warfare where you have to sleep with your enemy and next day you have to talk happily without caring how much you were disturbed last time. Good luck. Happy Marriage.
Getting married is like becoming a child all over again. Be prepared to learn where to put your towel, how to keep the bathroom clean and organizing your clothes in the closet. Congratulations.
I grant you wish that you will never forget her Birthday and your anniversary date also you will always have loads of ideas and Money to buy her gifts.
At first, sweet moments, kisses and hugs fill the air; soon the sweet nothings and lovely whispers give room for arguments which disappear for quarrel and total war. Congratulations!
I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage. It remains… a secret to all! Wishing you all the best for the times ahead!
In life we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage it‘s better to close them! Congratulations and Good Luck!
Congrats on getting married! You two are now forever entwined with some of the craziest moments. You are going to get fat together, complain and be happy. Awesome!
The Bar will miss you, the Theater will miss you, and even the free WiFi of MCD will miss you. As you will be Mrs. from today after your wedding.
A couple’s life cycle consists of various stages including dating, loving, marrying, fighting, threatening and possibly even divorcing. Congratulations for reaching step number three.
Congratulations for embarking on life’s journey called MARRIAGE which is either a two way street between COMPROMISE and SACRIFICE or a one way street to DIVORCE.
No one’s ever able to find out a secret about happy married life. I guess it doesn’t even exist. “Happy” Married Life…!
In life, it is always good to keep our eyes open, but when you get married, I hope you find the courage to keep them shut. Have a hearty day my dears. We love you.
I wish you a happy married life, with your sweet loving wife, and if she gets bored with your Jokes, I wish she kills you with a Knife.
Do you know that you are signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year Congratulations for signing your life away.
I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free food and booze was just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.
Funny Marriage Wishes
Well, now it’s the beginning of the end for you. No more beers, no more night out with the guys but at least you have a loving wife. Congrats!
You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost. Congratulations for being expensively stupid.
Guess you two were madly in love with each other. From now onward it would just be madness. Happy Married Life.
Do you know what late nights, parties and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those from now on. Congratulations for your wedding.
At first, both of you are madly in love. Later on, you will find yourself in the middle of a never-ending war.
There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.
This is what I have to say to you. You are a very brave soul who will endure the marriage life and become better than all of us. Godspeed my friend. We got your back.
You will weight some more TON, on your head there will be a SUN, on your front there will be your child’s carriage, and this is how your life will be after marriage.
Congratulations on your wedding day… I haven’t bothered buying you both a present. It would just be something else to fight over when you get divorced!
Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will’be be mad at each other as well.
Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched.
Congratulations on finding the only person you want to smooch for the rest of your life! A little advice on having a long, happy marriage: always agree to take out the garbage, even when it’s pouring rain outside; turn on the air conditioner even if you are totally freezing when your spouse asks; and never steal the covers, even when the other is totally hogging them!
Marriage is a bit like taking a long walk through the park. Except that park is Jurassic Park and the two of you think that your can rule the dinosaurs! Regardless, congratulations on your wedding and I wish you a long and happy life together full of laughter and jokes.
When I first got the wedding invite, I was surprised: I knew you were madly in love, but I didn’t know you had gone mad enough to settle for each other for the rest of your lives! I hope the two of you really complete one another and never live to regret saying “I do”. Congratulations on your marriage!
Weddings are great occasions to remember all the great things about your relationship. Like the give and take: one of you gives, the other takes! Marriage is a game of communication and compromise, where one of you will always communicate and one will always compromise. Try not to tear each other’s hair out in the process! Congrats!
Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. You’re willingly signing up to put up with someone else’s shenanigans every day of your life, always have to argue who gets the last piece of cake, and fight over who gets to have the good side of the bed. The important thing is just to cherish the good along with the bad! Congratulations and best of luck!
Witty Wedding Quotes
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Phillip
“If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” Miles Davis
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” Anonymous
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” Henry Youngman“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” George Burns
“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” Henry Youngman
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” Tim Allen
“Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” Anonymous
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” Wendy Liebman
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” Cindy Garner
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. – Prince Philip
Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. – James Holt McGavran
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. – Groucho Marx
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot. – Minnie Pearl
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. – Elbert Hubbard
Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. – Mark Twain
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. – Lyndon B. Johnson
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” Jack Benny
“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous
“An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” Booth Tarkington
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” Phyllis Diller
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” Rick Reilly
“Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.” Anonymous
“Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.” Joginder Singh
“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” Anonymous
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” Natasha Leggero
“Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” Janet Periat
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” Kathy Mohnke
“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.” Anonymous
“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” Lily Tomlin
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” Billy Connolly
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” Jean Illsley Clarke
28. “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” Henry Youngman
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments.” Chris Rock
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” Ann Bancroft
“Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.” Judith Viorst
“To keep your marriage brimming; with love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” Ogden Nash
“You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.” Rey Woodman
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” Bill Maher
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” Charles Schultz
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” Rita Rudner
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” Anonymous
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.” Lee Judge
“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.” Janet Periat
“No, please, don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!” Homer Simpson
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.” St Elmo’s Fire
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” Jenny Seinfeld
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” Molly McGee
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” Winston Churchill
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry the trash out.” Joyce Brothers
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” Richard Lewis
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” Joseph Barth
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” George Bernard Shaw
“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr
“Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” Mickey Rooney
Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations.
