So many people think of sex toys in the context of a solo experience. Interestingly enough, however, the market for couple products is huge. In one interesting survey, 75 percent of respondents said that they’d used a sex toy with a partner and 60 percent confirmed they’ve used one with the person they’re dating right now.
You may feel somewhat conflicted about the use of such items in the bedroom.
Shouldn’t the passion for someone special be enough to get things going? Isn’t the use of sex toys a form of cheating? If you’re dealing with such questions, you’re not alone. Many people wonder whether sex toys in a relationship are ok and if they’d do more harm than good.
What Psychologists Have to Say About It
If you’re seeking serious answers, let’s check out what professionals have to say about the topic.
Most therapists believe that opportunities to enhance physical pleasure can make sex much more satisfying and build intimacy. Needless to say, toys provide such opportunities.
At the same time, one of the most common concerns these professionals face is that the idea of using a sex toy is indicative of thinking low of the sexual abilities of one’s partner. This, however, has been proven as a common misconception.
In most studies, couples who explore new ways to enjoy intimacy and passion tend to do much better than the ones that don’t. In one study, those who reported feeling more satisfied from their partner and from sex, in general, were more likely to use toys than the ones that didn’t.
Psychologists conclude that openness and good communication will determine whether sex toys are going to strengthen a relationship or if they’d turn into a point of contention.
Secrecy and not letting a significant other knows that you sometimes use a vibrator, for example, can lead to conflict. Complete transparency and learning a bit more about each other’s feelings on the topic will likely result in a much better outcome.
The Benefits of Using Sex Toys in a Relationship
Obviously, better sex is one of the keys to a strong, lasting relationship.
Sex toys can help for that goal.
This, however, isn’t the only benefit of using a sexy item with a special someone.
Let’s face it – sex can become mundane after some time together. The novelty wears off and people learn everything there is to know about the sexuality of their partner. While this is a good thing, it can also lead to boredom and having sex much less often.
Sex toys provide fresh and easy opportunities to make things exciting once again without having to try really, really hard.
Something as simple and classic as a dildo sex toy can easily result in tremendous diversity and new experiments. Beyond that, the market offers many additional options that help for the exploration of all fantasies and desires.
The use of sex toys also builds trust.
It takes trust and a bit of vulnerability to open up and discuss fantasies with a partner. Many people would never gather the courage to further intimacy this way. The ones who do are likely to enjoy exceptionally positive outcomes and a much stronger bond with a significant other.
Finally, sex toys can easily improve bedroom communication (and other kinds of interactions among partners, as well). As already mentioned, openness and transparency are the keys to making sex toys work without anyone feeling resentment or bitterness.
Speaking about the topic or communicating about the specific use of toys will result in better understanding between partners and new opportunities to discuss issues many would be reluctant to tackle.
Making Sex Toys Work in Your Relationship
So, let’s sum things up – sex toys can work great if you address the idea in the best way possible.
If you’re interested in the addition of adult items to your sexy routine with a partner, you’ll need to follow a couple of ground rules.
The first and probably the most important one is no secrecy. Anything you do behind your partner’s back can come back and bite you in the behind.
Buying a vibrator as a surprise isn’t a particularly good idea, especially if you don’t know how they feel about it. Rather, bring up the idea and get some feel of their perception before moving ahead.
Let your partner open up on the topic and do listen. Chances are that they’d be surprised by the suggestion at first. Give them some time to process and to work through any resentment that may come to the surface.
If they have some holdups about sex toy use, don’t push it. Chances are that they’ll need some time to process and get comfortable with the idea. Use that time to address any insecurities and to convince them that the suggestion doesn’t stem from any kind of sexual inadequacy.
Once both of you are on the same page, you can start exploring possibilities together.
Shopping for sex toys and finding the ones you fancy the most can be as exciting and arousing as using such items. The market is really huge so do take your time. Toys can be used for all kinds of sex, even for stuff you haven’t done before.
If you’re just getting started, don’t go hardcore. Try out some classics first. A bullet vibrator or a vibrating toy for couples will give you a great start. Once you get comfortable with such versatile items, you can start exploring more niche pieces together.
Sex toys can be amazing in a relationship. They can give you a bit of spice, some diversity, and intimacy like you’ve never experienced before. The truth of the matter is, however, that they don’t work for all couples.
In some instances, sex toys can lead to arguments and issues, especially if the situation isn’t being addressed in a good way.
Trying sex toys with a special someone will be a lot of fun if you’re open and honest about your desires and motivation. Make that first step and let your partner come to terms with the idea. If you do, chances are that you’ll get an opportunity to freshen up your sex life and make it more exciting than ever before.