In this article, we have compiled the best funny quotes for 50th birthday woman, funny 50th birthday slogans, funny 50th birthday quotes for men, happy 50th birthday funny, funny 50th birthday poems, etc
Funny 50th Birthday Wishes
Tom Cruise, Demi Moore and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!
You are halfway to hundred but that doesn’t guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.
You’re no longer the oldest person I know in their 40’s. Now you’re the youngest 50-year-old I know.
Now that you’re 50 you’ve probably got more hair where you don’t want it and less hair where you do want it. You can’t fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!
If you were a dog, you would be 213 years old. So, don’t feel so bad about your age. At least you’re aging like a human. Happy 50th!
We call it 50. The Spanish call it cincuenta. The Germans call it funfzig. The Kalahari bushmen don’t even have a word for numbers that big. In whatever language, it’s a birthday worth celebrating!
Your 40’s are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!
Happy 25th anniversary of your 25th birthday!
Whoever says 50 is the new 30, let’s hang out with them!
Turning 50 may be mandatory, but growing up is optional. Happy Birthday, kiddo!
I would joke about you getting old, but I’m afraid you’ll laugh your teeth out. Happy 50th!
Let’s see…50 in dog years would make you…famous! For being the oldest dog EVER.
Buy the sports car, get the tattoo, take a trip, learn something new. Let the midlife crisis ADVENTURE begin!
You only turn 50 once. Make the hangover worth it!
If getting older means getting better…you’re approaching perfection!
Don’t think of it as 50. Think of it as 21 with 29 years of experience.
Fifty is the new “Who cares?” Relax, enjoy and have fun!
If you can blow up all your birthday balloons, then you will officially earn the right of calling yourself young at fifty. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy birthday and congratulations, you’re halfway to a telegram from the Queen. In the meantime, put your feet up and enjoy the rewards from all the hard work you put in during your 20s, 30s and 40s.
Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.
Congratulations on your 50th birthday. As Victor Hugo once said, “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.” A surprisingly optimistic sentiment from the man who wrote Les Miserables and the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but grab it with both hands and run with it anyway.
Being in your 50’s is like being in your 60’s without all the perks. You have no senior citizen discounts yet. You still have to work, and you can’t get people to feel sorry for you when your back hurts. Enjoy your 50’s.
Funny 50th Birthday Messages
Don’t ever bother spending money on anti aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old timer.
As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like – flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!
You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn’t figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!
As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you’d still understand if I didn’t buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!
The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!
Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty, or you become boring by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy 50th birthday! The Romans called it ‘L’, we say ‘fifty’ and some tribes in the Amazon don’t even have a word for numbers that big. In anyone’s language, it’s a number worth celebrating.
It is never too late to grow up and stop being stupid. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that. Happy birthday.
Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.
Don’t worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!
You’ve got half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.
I would make a joke about how old you’re getting, but I’m worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a change to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!
Happy 50th birthday! In your fifties you can forget about mortgages, contraception and school fees. You’ll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you’ll have an excuse.
Happy 50th birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.
You’re fifty? Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
Happy 50th birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.
Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up again! Happy 50th birthday!
Welcome to middle age: that time when you finally get your head together – then your body starts falling apart. Happy 50th Birthday!
Don’t panic, those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head! It’s time to celebrate your 50th birthday!
Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!
Congratulations! You’re 50! Smile… while you still have teeth.
You’re 50 and you’ve acquired a lot of common sense… which is lucky, because your sense of sight and hearing aren’t what they used to be!
You’ve got so much to look forward to in your 50s. In the words of Bob Hope: “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap”.
It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department. Happy 50th Birthday!
Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is? Happy 50th birthday!
So, you’re finally 50. Now we can round your age up to 100!
Funny 50th Birthday Quotes
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. – Greg Tamblyn
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. – Greg Tamblyn
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything. – Eric Satie
Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. – Melanie White
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you? – Melanie White
The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. – Cindy Crawford
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now. – Henry Green
I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. – Melanie White
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. – Janet Periat
Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to. – Melanie White
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – Sir Norman Wisdom
My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. – Melanie White
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. – East of Sweden
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. – Melanie White
When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I’ll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. – Thrill Tweeter
Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. – Greg Tamblyn
Now that I’m 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say I’m mature. Obviously they don’t know me very well. – Melanie White